City Lights

(An old one really; posting it now)

Gel Electrophoresis, protein structure elucidation softwares, nitro-cellulose strips, references, coffee, guffaws. Then get into the car and get home. After she got home, there was the usual channel surfing. Then the long debate with self of “what-to-cook”, ending with a 2-hour adventure in the kitchen. Smell, measure, cut, mix, heat, taste. Cooking for her was pure passion, unlike her job. She would spend hours in the kitchen deciphering the kind of alchemy that set aside a tomato salad from tomato gravy. This journey satiated her more than eating the food. Food just found its way into the mouth somehow, when eyes were wrapped with TV and ears glued to some music. Once the food found its way to the gut, came the real bites. Gnaws in ears to hear familiar voices, not just familiar noises.

And then, sometimes she would sit by the telephone and try the numbers of some ten people; for work, for self. She felt herself intruding privacy when she heard the sounds coming from the other end of the call. Disturbing their routines, upsetting their chores. She knew their reassurances that it was not so, were genuine, but then….

Sometimes, she just sat at her wide window, looking down at the city lights. Yellow, red, orange, neon. And fell asleep wondering why they never burn out before sunrise. Why there was never complete darkness. Cursing the lit-up, smoky, city sky.

The sun seldom failed to wake her up. A few stray birds would dutifully chirp at her window too. That morning, she woke up before the sun did and waited at her seat till he did, wondering what else she could do. It was her birthday. It pained to think that she had not received any of the customary midnight birthday calls. She heaved a loud sigh and moved on in her daily act of getting ready. As she drove to work later, she forcibly hummed with the radio. She wished someone would call her.

Once in the institute, she followed the regular trail- up two flights, turn right, get in the fourth door to the left. As she turned right, she noticed that the glass paneled doors were not emanating light as everyday. Fearing a power breakdown, she pushed open the door. Suddenly, lights flooded the lab and people swooped on her hugging and singing “Happy Birthday”. A cake was wheeled in on a lab trolley and was ceremoniously cut. They gave her kisses, wishes, cards and a T-shirt.

Later, as she was leaving the lab, a call from her mom instructed her to come directly to Hotel Renaissance. Family, friends had all gathered. It was a grand party. Food, drink and bunting flew all around. A smile would not leave her face. The celebration lasted long and she hugged everyone before breaking out. Gift-laden and a little tipsy, she sat in the car with the last coffee shot her sister forced in her hand. The car started with a slight jerk and she cruised on. As she climbed in the lift, the alcohol had begun to wear off. Happiness faded away under the stark loneliness of her flat. She put on the new CD her parents had gifted. Took up the book her sister had given and curled up at her favourite seat by the window. Her eyes watching the city lights and wondering why they never burn out before sunrise.